:::Thursday, October 27, 2005:::
bahhhhhhhhhh

aace for promos

ok i will try to take 2 s papers. physics and math. sighz none of my close acjc frenz taking. man gonna be all lonely dere :(

sigh

last day of sch tml. a year realli passes so quickly. still remember the days in acs barker road

i tink i am damn emotional

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 11:03 PM

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:::Monday, October 17, 2005:::

ahhh :P back from ccaab camp. haha it was a fun but tiring camp la. gonna haf upteen memories of it man. its like a really wonderful time wif my fellow peers and such

tks to all of you churchill warriors! -evanjudithtracyluddycrystal(penguin)debbieyifangwenqiangnatshenrussellkennethpetermenghuitungandrain and myself :P haha

really fun spending so much wif u guys man. made the 4 days 3 nights realli wonderful. the ropes rockwall sea exhibition FINAL challenge etc etc. the lame jokes. the animal game. the cheers together. the bonding. the caring. realli too much to list everything down man. the encouragement the determination the motivation etc etc etc

todae was the graduation dinner where we all got our badges :P haha all of us dress so nice. took alot of photos but mainly in other pple cams. hopefuly they will send me

ccabb camp was fun but tiring. come on man firedrills at 3 AM in the morning lei. u know how tiring and stupid and troublesome that is? the food was quite gd though haha

the people i was wif i will nv forget in my lifetime :P menghui sick talk. judith commands. wen qiang jokes(wow alot of gals after him now lei. even sum1 wrote her number on a piece of paper and passed to him!). peter the pikachu. crystal the penguin. evan the brightly lit gal. tracy the mighty mouse. tung the viet. etc etc. many maany. love u guy to bits. haha

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maan physics olympiad is next tuesday. and i dunno a single thing. must start mugging. omgosh lorh every1 enjoying life i'm gonna mug. dun even know a single chapter well. die la. i tink i will just walk out after 2 mins in NUS next yr

pw written report by this friday. sighz. gogo kelly complete it! :P haha den need to prepare I and R and OP. sianz la busy weeks. come back from camp still got all this crap

woot my chess rating improbed by a wooping 57 pts i tink. haha so big jump. 1765 now highest so far. but i lz to participate in tourneys to bring it up la

man i'm pmsing lately. getting mood swings. i tink i know why but dun wanan blog quite sensitive. gotta talk to god abt it later




sumhow the camp took all the thoughts below the 2 entries

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 11:13 PM

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:::Thursday, October 13, 2005:::

all things are possible to him who believes.

somehow i feel the quote above is contridictory to sum verses in the bible or god's plan for us. i'm too tired to type out what i feel now though. in a nut shelll, if i really really beleive in him will i be able to get wad i want?

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 12:34 AM

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tml is camp day sianz gonna get owned.

anyway missing church this sat. sighz :( but nvm! will continue worshipping god in my camp. must remember to slot my bible into my bag tml

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god's playing this trick on me is he? there's sumthing he wants to tell me thru this thing. wad izzit?

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 12:28 AM

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:::Sunday, October 09, 2005:::

been a busy past few weeks. sighz. exams stress-ed. notice the -ed- at the back. this means! exams are over! haha but sighs.

i promise the lord i wont ponder about what happened anymore le. i promised him that yup i will leave the results all in his hands. Though i would really want to do well and take s papers, it's really will be his desire whether he wanna me take that path of life. i'm just gonna wait for results and see wad path i am settled for

math,physics,chem,econs,gp,chinese. well. i know i will get promoted.

i feel so bored these few days. warcraft is boring. reinstalled it but i'm just bored. lazy to solo ladder. only want to 2v2 wif ws but he still haaving exams. sighz arh. den i feel so lonely at home, nth to do liddat. :(

I think i shld go on to what i really wanna blog about instead of beating about the bush.
I really think God's is really really testing me in more than a few ways now. i think a total of 4 ways simultaneously? and i'm really really trying to cope wif it

Number1 . Results

Saturday's sermon msg at church was about work or play- are you living it? sigh. u know wad? are we result orientated or purpose orientated. do i study for the sake becaz i wanna score? or i do it wif christian purpose? come to think of it. i think i have been studying becaz i wanna get As. and i want s papers becaz i just want to do well. i want to get scholarship becaz i dun wanan waste my parents money on university and such. however i am more concern wif the results. i am so results orientated. i keep on like stressing and stressing. trying to hope. and i've become disillusioned. sat was a wake up call. i shld be more purpose orientated. i shld study and take studying as a way to worship god. i shld not be overly concerned wif results. i shld rather be more concern in trying to be a gd student for god. be a gd reflector of him thru studies. i need to change my thoughts

the past few days. everytime i finish an exam paper. i will just regret and regret how stupid i am. i even mentioned to myself several times 'changjie you're bloody stupid and dumb dunno how to do XXX question'. 'ur're stupid idiot'. little did i realise, i was actually critizicing god's creation. myself. all is bornt perfect in his eyes. result orientated me caused me to criticise god :( sighz. so ya sat was a wake up call. can u believe it? it's my first time crying in church altar call for around 5 mths. while brother aaron was praying for me, the tears just dropped uncontrollably

Well. i promised myself i will not worry about the results anymore. i will just leave it in god hands. i will not go digging daily at my papers counting how much marks i haf lost. nth can be changed. it's in his hands. and i know he has a perfect plan for me

Number2. Desire

i would not talk too much about this as it concerns matters of the heart and i would want to keep it private between me and god only. i will onli touch the surface.

The past few weeks i have been having this desire. sumtimes i think god is just suanning me. but that cannot be the case. i know he is trying to teach me sumthing thru this trial but i dunno wad is it yet. i have to discover it myself after this trial. and i know i will definitely learn sumthing out of it

There is sumthing i desire. but yet i just dream about it w/o doing anything. becaz i know i cant. yet i just keep dreaming. well i think god's just playing a trick on me due to sumthing that happened. come on, it's a rarity for thing to just happen in such a way to make me feel (unexplainatory feelings). it's really been hard on me. i will just got to continue praying and ask god why and wad is the learning outcome.

people who read the above 3 paragraphs. i hope u dun get a clue. becaz it's not fun if i know u know wad i am talking =p

Number 3. Weird Dreams

i shall just take it from 2 smses which i sent to andre today.

sms 1 . 'this sucks. i got a terrible dream about the devil yesterdaey night. it seemed so freaking real'

sms 2. 'tmd. then i dreamt i will die on the 29th oct. and this prediction was made with a couple of others(predictions) in the dream. and the others came true earlier in the dream. you know leon?(my senior who committed suicide) The dream kinda spoke through him. At shop i was buying sumthing. then sum old person called me. i didnt response then called aaagain. turned around say him. that was after church on sat in the dream. then all the predictions came. Then i met you all(andre and church frenz) in the dream. You all told me not to fear. When i went home, opened the door. Someone tried to push me off the waalkway off the flat. I managed to get into my flat. somehow i was living in a flat. then i entered i saw my mum possessed. then the dream ended'

freaking dream. i was so scared that when i got up i didnt want to turn around(turn my body to face behind me). after a while i just took a leap of faith aand turned. of course there was nth on the other side of the bed

well i'm being tested to know that god will be with me and provide for me. and i shld nt be fearful of the devil. yea. was realli freaked out in the morning. but much better now. those reading this please keep me in prayer.

really hope tonight will be a better night with no weird dreams

Number 4. Jealousy.

jealousy. the greatest problem of mine. i always have been having difficulty controlling this aspect of me. i tink i even control pride better

i'm currently getting jealous at alot of stuff. sum of which can be mentioned sum cannot be. well it's like so many. i tink my fingers are just too little to count.

well. teach me lord to overcome this thought of jealousy. let me grow




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somehow i just feel that i rather be bornt into a christian family and haf this christian faith from birth. everything would be much better i guess. it's just so hard. sumtimes at church i am just like new person? and yea. its hard to explain. most of the j1s dere are kinda like veri bonded alreadi becaz they known eaech other for a long time. sumtimes i feel why cant i just be like christian family christian normal growth and such.

yea.

but jer 29:11 says

For I know e plans I have for you, declares e LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 10:34 PM

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is my blogger working again?

test post!!!

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 9:47 PM

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:::Wednesday, October 05, 2005:::

3 days of exams are over. i tink my target still can be managed. dun worri its not sum insanely high of 4 As. not even close to dere btw. i dun wan to pressurise myself. i mean i know my capabilities.

well the lord has been faithful so far. though i cant guarantee the subjects i took so far (econs chem and math) would gif me my desired results. i will put my hope in him. i mean chem was a total disaster i hope i can keep my target. econs might make it or do better. i counted my math a million times in terms of minusing marks just now. i minus 20 on 2nd page. and tat's when i seriously like minus more than wad the teacher might minus so alreadi very strict. so got 10 marks leeway on page 1 and 3. sumhow i feel i will like get close to full on those both 2. but still gotta put it all in the lord hands

i'm nt ashamed to list out my target. not arrogant nor proud. aacc. anyway combination would do.

really hope to do well for chem spa tml and physics exam on fri. the former must jmust concentratate. and fridae is realli the d-day. how sad my fav papers come at the end of exams

btw for chinese and gp :P the former i could write 2 words for han zi!!! so 4 marks yea! and guess wad i literally guessed to cloze passage. so coool. for gp i wrote my best essasy so far. but think i will still fail it. haha :P

i spent alot of time on sunday and monday checking out on the christian perspective of lesbians and gays. homosexuals. even chatted wif weiwen's ex church pastor online(asked ww he introduced me to him) plus i was referred to this christian site where i read abt it. well i'm more enlighted now. i will continue keeping those pple i know who are gays/les in my prayers. i haf 3 now. i cant mention names though. but from wad i read if the person trust in christ, he/she will be able to overcome that personality and be saved.

oct-5th

@#!$@#$@# i cant add a new post!! just editing my last 1 to inform every1 grrrrrrrrrrr i try to add a new post den the stupid page cannot be found. all my other ooptions in blogger is working though :'( 0ct-1

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 5:19 PM

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Grad Night Compilation

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