My life- A Roller Coaster

:::Wednesday, June 30, 2004:::

School's Back.. haizzz

OMG school is back.. sianz gotta 'bring me back to life' which is STUDYING!! OMG o levels only 5 months away(hehz) and i am gonna die.. ok lets see 3 days have passed and i realised i am dead! i got so much thigns to do.. i mean chiense oral this cuming tuesdae listneing this sat den i got alot of a math work to do.. ok lets see wad shall ido now

cry
do a math (tuition)
Do a Math (Holidae hw)
DO A MATH (School)

shit 3 a amths to do.. hack la i probably gonna spend all my time on it since i alreadi fail chiense so f9 + f9 just gives me m18.. not much difference la.. oral and listening just anyhwo talk for the former guess for the latter..sure lose method!

wah i tink i gonna do a daily diary blog basis liaoz... i mean right now i gonna make my blog mroe readable.. its like i complain complain ont fun for pple to read 1.. wanna copy angelique gabriek nat etc all those kind of blogging style.. jsut describing wad happen.. for me its tat and maybe other stuff la.. so here goes nothing!

June 30th

Let's see angelique usually starts wif first block is bla bla.. so ok todae first 2 blocks dual eng.. sux la.. realised i only got 29/40 for my ENG prelim oral.. omg tat gonna suck hard.. screwed la i tink it sux(OMG DUN COMPLAN UR BLOG /=/ complain BLOG) ok budden alto of pple (10?) got 30++ nvmm o lvs oral still far away 8 weeks onli.. ok so today do sum oral practice.. den my grp 3 pple so i kinda volunteer to 'partner' teacher.. den i go read to her sum passages (2 in fact) den she remarked tat i talk to fast and articulation sux.. kinda true la.. but wad encouragemenmt to gif me b4 my chiesne oral on tuesdae.. she suggested tat next time or in near future reccess last 5 min go up to eng staff room call any teacher out igo read to dem ask for comments to improve :P

ok den here nat would blog GOD HELP ME sumthign kliek tat la.. or seekign help so here i go GOD HELP ME DUN FAIL ORAL! hahah i mean i dun wanna fail la so gif me strength to pass even though i not christain k? (man i am mad toking to god i havnet beliff in a blog :P)

3 block - geog.. =zzzzzz cant seem to pay attention.. not interesting of a bit

4-5 block - dual chem glenn wong realli cool teacher sia i mean i tink hes the onli cool teacher tat teahces our class man.. u can talk anything u wan wif him and he will respond back.. anything udner blue sky.. cool teacher! haha todae he gave us frenly lectuce abt studying o lves.. den of course deviate etc etc to certain topics.. haha.. den did last yr 2003 nov o lv paper 2 for chem.. part a.. i tink i forogt lotsa stuf f liao forgot how to write ionic equation11!!!!!!!!!

reccess came and go like the wind

6 block - e math .. mr chan our dm nv fails to amuse me wif his lessons.. todae he taught us how to gamble!!! (kewl right) since lesson on probablility he go take our cards teach us which card biggest smallers(like we dunno though..) den he go tell us how the cards were created how the 2 kings came out sum history stuff dunno wad crusade etc.. man i cant remember la but sum quite cool story.. haha maybe i shdl chalelgne him bridge

7 block - a math... ZZZzzz the topic on sum velocity was so boring.. haizz i was like building sand castles in teh air all along

i finally uninstsalled war3.. dunno why i so stupid go promise my parets afer june i wont play comp games liaoz.. so war3 i went to unstiall after sum aTs games wif elgin and ivan.. haha i lost the game.. sianz chang HOLD IN DERE its onli 5 mths b4 u reinstall (hopefully) just try to wait out o lvs like wad happened in the show of day after tml(nt a veri gd comparison)

NAg 2004 was a disappointment man.. i mean 5.5/9 6th position sux la.. last yr i got 5.5 4th lei.. sianz la.. i mea nthis yr nv even beat a single pro except alan.. last yr beat dunno how many..nvm.. haha scf even asked me to join junior squad? wtf? intermediate section.. sum1 called from winston hp todae tell me den i say dun wan.. den ask me go write letter to scf (email) ask dun wan bla bla.. haha i tink i just go write later for fun say o lvels and no $$ hahahhaha!! sianz i dun tink this yr ican go singmas le :(

ok i controlled from the starting of this blog entry to not say tat i typed all these out just now and it got accidentally deleted and i CALMLY retyped all till now.. man i am such a (cool) hot person.. almost blew when the whole entry deleted.. better not screw up now

ok.. gotta play sum chess at playchess.com now.. haha yesterdae damn stupid.. met sum person called 'chesswizard' juz found out from jeslin tat its clifford.. worst thing is tat he told me he gal.. wad bs.. and the worser thing is tat i told him tat jeslin face kinda 'qianda' kind haha(jk la.. its just a statement) i mean the face damn ncie to slap dat kind(nt say i will slap, liek i ever haf chacne haha) its not insult or anyhitng la.. also said to him tat jeslina nd suz look similar at certain angle..

worst thing is tat I WAS FORCE TO TELL JESLIN ALL THSE TODAE!! NOW she's daoing me

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 6:43 PM

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:::Saturday, June 26, 2004:::

Wasted time playing chess?

Screwed sia.. i haf like 4.5/8 now and gonna play justin later.. he alreadi agreed to lose to me becaz noway he gotta improve his 9th position le.. budden we jst gotta paly a while and see if the 10th guy wins or loses(most likely lose, a patzeR) so yar.. i tink game will finish at 3 den i go do hw liaoz at the grassroot club...

so far man itink damn messed last yr i haf 5.5/9 2 loses agast ben lee and nat.. drew against wl justin and wei xing. won solomon ravindram peter and joshua loh.. i tink last yr better for me man even though this yr i tink i would end up wif 5.5/9.. i mean its like most of my wins against noobs not fun 1.. den onli won alan the onli pro drew kadam and lost to wc and natong(AGAIN!) wtf man.. i certainly prefer last yr where it was cooler to win cooler players... also last yr i got 4th this yr i calculated e best i can get is 5th alan sure win me on solfoff den i dunno la... 5th sux! it might be 6-8th god knows man...

sianz lunch readi gtg.. nvm hope for the best.. and jia you to liz she gotta win jeslin to get 5th.. beliff miracles will happen la.

i restarted playing utopia ended up in a SK(super kingdom) top 25 in the world on battlefields.. life rox... tml gotta declare on CRAZY AR

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 12:29 PM

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:::Tuesday, June 22, 2004:::

7.5 hours of chess todae

Just played 7.5 hrs of chess todae, dead tired as a log man. man i mean i was the last board to finish in boys under 19 for both roudns? and in the first roudn last board to finish in the whole hall..

budden!!! i onli got 1.0/2.0 IT realli sux man.. i mean first game took me 4hrs against wee zhen yang.. i believe position draw liaozden i had 1 min around dere he aroudn 1min plus plus aroudn dere.. AND DEN i was like prompting arbitar draw position budden told to play on postpone his decision draw or nt.. and den time trouble i blunder in a loss king oppose my king.. i mean its like though zhen yang 1 pawn up there is no way the knight can come it.. and so the king too... sux la.. stupid 4 hrs for 0 pts.. i rather lose in 1 min if i knew

i am 7th seed out of 13 players.. zhen yang is first.. t.t! shld haf drawm!

2nd roudn i sway sway fought against Alan Khor, b4 the match started i kinda no hope liaoz i was thinking haizz todae go home 0.0/2.0 will be damn sad.. ppalyed black(white against zhen yang) and he is 4th or 5th seed i tink.. he had 1pt.. odd 1 pters and odd 0 pters.. so sway sway i matched wif him.. the match kinda fun i belive i won after 12-14th moves le. heres the game

1. d4 d5 2. c4 e6 3. Nc3 Nf6 4. Bg5 Be7 5. Nf3 Nbd7 6. e3 b6 7. Bd3 Bb7 8. o-o o-o 9. Qe2 c5 10. Rac1 Rac8 11. Rfd1

i think from here black rox liaoz

11.... dxc4! 12. Bxc4 Bxf3! 13. Qxf3 cxd4 14. Bxf6(Main bludner by alan) Bxf6 15. Nb5(not very good too) Ne5 16. Qe2 d3 17. Bxd3 Rxc8 18. Rxc8 Qxd3 won liaoz minorup
budden he realli pissed me off by continue playing and i had to waste like 2.5 hrs more and after 57 moves den i win.. i played many stupid moves when i 1 minor up man

ok gtg gonna rest googog.. tml plaiyng agianst 13th seed indian unrated... gotta win! gogoogog

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 10:42 PM

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:::Saturday, June 19, 2004:::

Pathetic Games of Warcraft

Went for a warcraft3 lan tourney at asteriods katong shopping centre todae.. all i haf to say is i palyed sum crappy stupid games... i mean its double elimination.. first round vs sum ud player, totally own him 2-0(its best of 3) maps on lost temple den twisted meadows.. both tiems i go late-early expo.. rifles plus preists owned his ass.. kinda fun raping him wif several pple watching and commenting like 'rifles bla bla taht guy apm confirm damn high etc'.

round 2 was pathetic and stupid.. i play against sum lv26 solo tink shld haf won man.. i made so many micro errors.. i mean he;s orc! first map turtle rock spawn opposite i just went to fast tech to gyphons.. tio harassed rush-ed budden there was a time i was winning... he had like a red health fs against my mk and am wif 2 gyphons and 1 hawk.. his tc was be revived.. budden couldnt wack his base finish and those stupid bad riders keep coming.. lost later on.. IT WAS stupid i keep on pressing buy potion for mk budden he didnt get hte potion and it died.. i am damn pissed man. once on my am too, 2nd map was two rivers i chose it.. ocne again i played shit i had chances to win and i screwed them up. i had lv 6 am lv 5 mk 3 gyphons and he had lv 5 fs lv 5 tc sum taurens and a few zerkers.. both our expos are up (just got it) .. den i harass his wif air den i not paying attention he came my expo and attacked my 2 heroes.. blardie stupid i didnt teleport out.. i mean when i use teleport 5s.. i died at the 4.9s b4 i tp.. den it was gg
PATHETIC

round 3 losers bracket played against asiaorc.exp.. lv 30 solo.. i thought i could win man i mean i dindt expect to lose in losers bracket so early.. antoher orc ass... both matches on twisted and 2 rivers i screw both up.. micro the harassment shittily and lost so much.. the mouse kidna screwed to ocannot click properly.. aka not used to it.. SUX MAN, i dun tink i am playing any official bnet war3 games le.. i dunno maybe next week during the veri few free time i haf after june bye bye war3.

its NAG nexxt week, i alreadi failed my target of war3 to reach semis, now for CM(candidate Master) title.. kidna hard budden yup i am gonna make it come thru.. I WIlL!! GOGOGOGO.. gl to every1 i know man.. esp those in u19 please blunder against me :D

Microing like a baby, Playing like a beginner, Lost like a cJ

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 7:24 PM

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:::Friday, June 18, 2004:::

I dun feel like arguing with my mum but i am GOING TO

if any1 has noticed, i changed my msn nick to:
- Wadeva! -http://mylife4eva.blogspot.com- Goals: Euro 04(Watch) Nag 04(CM)! Asteriods 04(Semis)! Ihateitwhenmymumissopessimistic

what do i mean by asteriods 04? its a lan tourney of warcraft3 held tml at katong shopping centre in the morning.. my goal is to go semis which is kinda hard wif me not knowing my standard among sg war3 players.. wad's pissing me off is tat my mum is currently negative abt it and dun wan me to go? its like wth? i told her tat after june i gonna stop war3 til lso finish den holidaes i can do all i wan and she kinda said no to going for tml tourney? i swear by hook or by crook i will go tml.. these 3 goals shall be accomplished! let me write down the SMSes i exchagned with her so far.

Me: Sent (1) (i forgot what i typed)(sumthing abt asking to go out tml morning to play)
Received(1) : 'No play at home.so many promises now but when school reopens u will claim all sorts of excuses to cont.
Me: Sent (2) : (i forgot what i typed)(sumthing to say tat why i shld go etc etc)
Recevied(2) : 'All children display same traits. . . Go on and blow. . .not easy to b mother also. U r not leading a balanced school holiday life too screw to computer games where have u show me other ways of enriching ur valuable time
Me: Sent (3) : (i forgot what i typed)(sumthign abt comparing to bro and etc and other stuff related)
Recevied(3) : 'All children will tell thier mother that they know what they r doing. I did not even compare u to hao . I do what every mother has to do to ensure there is some control over the family. Everytime u feel some restriction u cite same case.'

WTF man? ok all these are from my mother view pt i am too lz to write out mine.. gonna think wad to send back..

these 3 targets shal lbe MET

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 2:13 PM

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:::Thursday, June 17, 2004:::

Cycling at night

went cycling yesterdae... hmm kinda fun actually ww calculated den we cycled for a total of 42km!! whoa!!! lolz okok those ncc npcc scouts and bb would say its nth.. but it's sth for me :D.. man i tink i kinda smart, i mean 6 of us went cycling : me myron liz ww justin and ww fren called ian i tink.. at first ian and justin going to bring their bikes den ww informed me bikes gonna cost 30 bucks to rent.. i was like wtF?? so icalled justin up den he had extra bike den cycled from his house to meet them at sum ulu place caleld ghek moh i tink.. den in the end dunno why i had to fork out 10 bucks for transportation fees for thier 3 bikes.. budden at least better than 30 bucks!

hmm started cycling around 615 like tat.. from ghek moh go back route to justin house cycling down pass btp i tink den dere my tire kinda no more air so pump at petro kiosk den from dere cycle cycle all e way down to jason chan house aroudn dere cashew sumthing(the estate) from dere we sort of manouvered to enter a palce called track 15.. met ww fren dere.. hmm track 15 was DARK!! had to on torch pretty fun too! hahha liz fell into a mini hole once :P tat gotta be juz a litta pain.. took around 40 mins for us to complete traack 15 i tink? we were kinda slow first time den lotsa delays kena split like upteen times.. first was myron ww liz lagging.. den me liz laggging(yar know cannot leave girl ride by herself 1 right).. man i am such a nice gor :D pei liz almost the wholenight becaz she was lagging.. budden not bad k, my mei can cycle 42km!! nv give up juz like energiser :D den 1 time lucky i was pei-ing her becaz i kena muscle cramp den the rest infront dunno how many metres liaoz(talking abt along mandai road) so she helped me a little(nonono cannt say little, aLOT)

the route was: ghek moh to sunset avnue(aroudn dere) to cashew estate to track 15 to (comeout)Mandai road to mandia CERMETORIUM(lolz wad were we doing at a ceremetorium? god knows) to seletar reservior to upper thomson road to sebwang hills dere to long house coffeeshop.. at long house coffeshop around 1115 got a lift in a lorry back to ghek moh den from dere ycle back to justin house.. overall fun trip ma!!! ate dinner along 1 of e prata stalls at thompson dere...

gonna play i tink my first and last war3 lan tourney this sat at katong shopping centre asteriods lan.. i tink its my first becaz its indeed my first and my last becaz after june i not playiong till os le by den i dunno war3 would haf died out or not.. god knows.. hmm i tink its a 16 player knockout system, i wanna get to semis can le.. kinda hard i dunno the gaming standard of the war3 players in sg.. man its 9am gotta convince my parents and hmm dunno wad i going to do after tat.. gonna use human race.. i sort of know wad to do against ne and orc.. budden ud is wad is botthering me.. so many strats all dunno how gd dey are and i dunno wad to do..

NAG 2004 is coming.. i am gonna be in u19.. man i wanan be a CM Zhang budden the chances of tat is <1%.. i dunno la.. nvm I will do it k.. foudn out todae thru my brain tat wc gonna be in my cat den read thru a blog found out nat in my cat too... hmm kinda hard to beat those 2 peeps budden who knows? tat might just happen.. beleive in urself zCJ :D gotta hope justin can do sum damage to them too... gonna revenge my lost at nag last yr against nat ong.. i mean we had 5.5/9 at the end he got 3 and i got 4.. budden he beat me in a game.. this yr diff.. googogogo!! CM Zhang?????

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 7:14 PM

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:::Saturday, June 12, 2004:::

It's 4:30 AM in the morning, and i am stoning around

Wahahahahha i am so stupid, why am i still awake? why am i still around at such a early hr(aka late).. nvm i slept 1.5 hrs inthe afternoon and 1 hr just now till 2... went to play playchess.com friday night blitz (5+0) tourney.. hmm not bad la 4.5/9.. wanted 5.5 or 6.0 though.. budden gd enuf.. had to play on ACSBARKer,, how bs my zcj kena deleted rating again den start from pawn.. crappy playchess everything accuse me of cheating when i multitasking chatting on msn :( t.t... hmm i lost to a 20XX 1q 3 p vs 1 q.. my flag drop.. shld haf won man... den drew a won game by tioing forked by a high 18.. damn i suck... man i feel guilty sia, made xh stay until so late(she's still online chatign wif me) to play chess.. haizz.. she got 4.5/9 also SO its ok for me or else damn tiu lian..

hmmm, NAG 2004 wil lbe a real decider whether or nt i gonna play chess continously.. i mean tat's e onli tourney where i need to do well i tink? i mean it will qulify me for sinmas.. which i hope to go.. yar.. hmm the time controls 120+0.. my fav kind.. long games my fav.. can think can think and think till the sky drop till birds bark also can :D asean and sinmas was 90+30.. i have nv gotten negative in longs games (except singmas 03 where i had 0-2 agianst those mas pple) nag 2003 i had 5.5/9 asean i had 4.5/9.. this yr i realli hope to get either 5.5-7.0 i know its kinda hard but i gonna try my best.. gonna disprove my theory FOR OCNE!! muahaha.. playing in u19.. a real bonus wil lbe champ budden its qutie impossible so let me dun think of it... nag2004 HERE I GOGOGO hmm i got sum sources(aka brain) tat tells me jason goh not playing so i tink evan gonna be the next strongest player... must try my best to annihilate him.. i mean its kinda hard.. budden miracles happen eh? (xh just went off, can blog in peace now) ok so let ssee evan wengchee? i mean all these are the real obstructions.. i wil ltry to do well against the toehr below 2000 pple. i blevie i can :D... nvm i cant NATO.. i must walk the talk talk the talk. haha.. mei joker sia, say if i get after evan angelique will come after me... hahaha :P

cant belvie its euro 2004 tml!! gogogo.. let me predict. portugal and spain win their matches respectively :D

hmm watached harry potter on wed.. not bad show.. quite nice.. those of u who havent wathced it or wahtced finish go watch(again) its cool! lolz

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 4:35 AM

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:::Thursday, June 10, 2004:::

wahahhaha :'( gotta wear specs.. sux? i dunno

went to check eye sight todae.. i mean it was suppose to be doned long ago budden i just hack hack till the moe send reminder letter to my house.. in jan suppose to check liaoz :D :p.. budden hack it.. todae check wif the reminder letter was at the shop sitting in a room den ask me read letters. sux sia.. i mean i always confuse between common letters :( lolz so in the end after reading/bull shitting/guessing the optician went to gif me a 75-75... not bad la.. i mean most pple 200-300? so shld be glad my eyesight still gd.. man this space bar key so messed damn hard to press.. hmm back to specs i dunno wad specs i chooose man i know cost 58 bucks den lenses 20 bucks.. colelctin on fridae.. hmm i tink got a shade of blue cant remember how it looks like but who cares i dun intend to wear it often onli during lessons and maybe work? definitely not letting alot of pple see.. i mean sch frenz will see la(hopefulyl onli classmates) outside frenz? = nonononono.. nv sia.. i will look super geek in specs.. look super shit though i am alreadi shit :P gonna hide my face

AMRWQYHGW#%Y%$ WHY IS THIS SPACEBAR SO HARD TO PRESS!!!!!!!!

war3 is seriously gay man, tried 6 ats wif elgin all cropped up my comp fault wtf? den i went to mcafee.com scan virus proded sia got 5 altoghter den go norton.com find removal den go stinger dl.. damn ma fan.. haizz hack war3 mean time gonna paly chess at 2 and 830.. 2 is sum knockout tourney and 830 is 9 round blitz 5 0 hopefulyl i dun over slp :P cant be a pig! hahahah ok tats it for now

ifsfgridw2diftihabdelima

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 1:34 AM

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:::Monday, June 07, 2004:::

Ouch! injured my right leg. gonna be lame for the next few days

man how crap up. the moment i reached jason's house to paly soccer the first few misn alreadi injured it.. budden of course the pain onli comes after several hours or the following morning(sudae).. so i continue palying although there was sum pain.. muz be kinda a bad decision lolz... man sat night so messed onli 6 pple went soccer jason bradon andrew and aaron went damn early den me liz were at bpp hitching a ride from xh parents.. den we reached aroudn 755 le.. lolz den play for 30-45 mins afte rtat.. was realli shit soccer though.. hmm i tink in terms of putting gd impression on parents i am damn pro.. ::DD:D i tink liz parents, myron parents and maybe now xh parents got gd impression of me.. man i am so blardie guai :D model child and student eh?

went to bpp to eat fried rice, once again i damn ncie guy sia.. nice gor.. its like i ordered fried rice.. den liz mei comes over and said help me order 1 also.. den she paid me i go helped her at coutner.. den when 1 plate arrived i gentlemently went to offer liz it first(nonono i gave it to her)..she was sitting on the table. gentlementright? myron was like 'wah cant belive chang u did tat' hahahah wad to do.. gd upbringing :D bowlign sx after tat got like 74? den pool sux too lost to jace? nvm .. its just a game..

ok i am sick of war3 jamming here and dere le went to reinstall windows.. from 2000 went to xp pro.. spent 1/2 hr figuring out lsmss.exe was under a variation of saseer virus... den had to go against clock to dl it and cancael off virus.. man i am pro using pirated verison of xp pro.. veri hard to microsoft windows update.. tried once failled.. skipping tat file looks like other files can though.. hopefully..

its 3 am now.. dad watching golf(or else i would be hastily installign war3 and paly) hmm hopefulyl by tml everything in order so i wont be frustrated wif comp anymore.... waiting for this 52mb microsoft update to finish den i gonna go slp and finish the rest later on.

WAIT WAIT i wanan talk abt french open finals.. it was 2 argentians.
cant remember the names but it was sumthing like garia vs curia.. garia won.. budden tat is not the point.. the point is i learnt alot from watching this match

RECAP: curia was leading 2-0.. garia determination got him back at 2-1.. den den the sad thing happened curia left leg injured.. he was limping throughout the forth set.. every1 tot tat he would quit just quIT and retire and give the 800,000 euros and winners cup to garia just liek tat... budden he didnt.. though he limped he tried damn hard.. HIS determination was awesome.. he lost 4th set 6-1, his service was messed budden he WAS determined to lose as a gracious loser.. sportmanship.. not a coward and retire. .and thru his determination fifth set he broke garia serve den got a 4-2 lead.. INJURED left leg 4-2 LEAD! miracle due to determination.. (although time made him more comfortable wif leg den can run better) he ran cross courts amny times, though it would cause great pain. though he might not reach it he tried.. drop shots he ran foward.. did veri for and back swins.. 4-2 lead.. gonna be my idol for determination sia... he didnt let his left leg bother him.. ok den at 5-5. he broke garia sserve again 6-5.... 40-40 advantage twice to curia the injured player... he got 2 championship pts.. but alas he wasted both and went on to lose tat game and the set 8-6.. wad a a sad case :( :'(.. budden wont it be nice if he won? classic show of determination. LIFE UNFAIR HE DERSERVED TO WIN FOR HIS HARDWORK

b4 i go slp.. i gonna practice sum hand microing for war3 lolz.. ok this is the things i type on keyboard human bo(typing for fun u pple wont understand)
babfbbppppppctrl+3shift3 shiftbfshiftbtppp ow ffff

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 3:04 AM

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:::Saturday, June 05, 2004:::

I really feel that everything roudn is messed and screwed up and everythign SUX

I HAD enough man. my war3 just jammed 3 times in a row. i was waiting for elgin to aT all along and it aint gonna happen now BECAZ i am reinstalling my war3. i am just gonna blog while it reinstalls. when this stupid program jammed, i so fucking pissed in my alreadi pissed mood, i realised i better list down how f up my life is or wad i am living in. i woke up todae, den i thought to myself why am i so messed. the thought of many stuff occured to me.

I feel deprived. I feel that i dont get anything that i want and that everything that i have cannnot be improved and maybe be deproved. the way i talk its damn weird. Let's take my bro for example, 5 years ago when he was sec 4... aroudn my age i doubt he was as screwed as me. come to think of it he's so blardie fortunate. my parents gave him so many things and compared to me i tink i haf none? let's see i am currently using the comp that my parents gave to him when he was in sec3-4. very cool eh? ancient comp specs. it has only been upgraded once? guess wad? only sum parts of the video thingy and ram was added on. ram plus 256 to 384 133 SPEED ddr ram i tink wtf? tell me. how messed this is. i am using wad my parents gave to my bro 5 years ago and it barely gets upgraded. i ASK MY PARENTS countless or times to upgrade. of course to no avil. they are such Q@#%T$W^! i cant even paly any of the new games. comp so messed keeps hanging jamming. its like nowadays 4/5 tiesm my comp hang in war3. take it as lets say any of ur favourites stuff. add those numbers in. how would u feel? PISSEED RIGHT?

I feel deprived. I feel that once again comparing to my bro he gets everything i dun get anything i get NOTHING. it's like let's see when i go out? i get lets say 10 bucks(very most 15? sumtimes dun haf)? den the rest i fork out myself from the pocket money my parents gave to me.. so blardie unfair man. my bro had like? 20-30? wtf. maybe he had a gf tat's why he had so much???? wtf. so is this a clue tat i am supposet o get a gf like him? my parents also think that i AM SO FORTUNATE to go out. wtf? that IS SO freaking stupid. i dun coutn tat as fortunate i count tat as my own freedom. pple i know all can haf countless of $$ flowing in and they can do wadeva dey like wif it. shopping get new clothes stuff etc? wtf man if i can choose my own monetary life i 101% would wan to haf the cash of myron's wtf man buying a palm to him is like peanuts. easily gotten. to me it is almost an impossible reality. with one swipe of the ATM card, cash just flows out. why cant i haf tat?

I feel deprived. EVerything that i haf, which is damn litlte, is so messed. lets take shoes for example, my blardie shoe i using to wear now is so torn and ttattered. and ya i keep telling my parents i wan a new 1 they jsut dao me? or ignore. or say yes den no action. all my shoes are all like? 20-40 bucks? blardie stupid man.. my bro like bought shoes tat were like 100 plus bucks? not onli shoes, clothings personal stuff.. all so much more den mine in terms of value... i tink if i wanna compare wif my frenz it would even BE A comparison of extremes... blardie stupid life man... still got so many screwed stuff.. since my bro incident of him HAVING premarital sex den marreid at like 18? my parents have been LIKE poking into my personal life / life ever since. they asked like so much bukllshit qn. den everytime my mum always says girls are stupid they messed up ur life. u dun wanna end up like ur bro right? i woudl just dao her bla bla.. its not tat i haf a gf(I dun haf) or wad its tat the way that paretns try to retrict me really pisses me off. they would like qn wad type of frenz i mix out with, den the girls also.. i would just ignore ignore if i have to say den i say smart pple. all psle 10x better than mine nt neighbourhood schs etc.. i dun wan them to know anything if there is even anything. its like any girl dey see they will wan to qn me who are they. i will just keep quiet. they asked abt liz(of course they dunno name) xh(my dad was asking who was the 1 dat waved to him from outside the car like she knows my dad damn well) amy(the 1 dat i fetched to myron house) and many others also. they haf the impression tat every girl i mix out wif might just be my gf and they dun wan wad happened to my bro happen to me. LIKE IT WOULD?

I feel idiot. a few months back, i set out 3 targets that i wanan achieve. no1. rep sg in sea games 05. no2. get to paly wcg 2004 under sg name for wc3. no3. 8a1s for o levels. thinking abt it, its impossible. i am an unrealistic person. everything i wan is impossible. my chess is gay, its impossible to match up with standards of jgoh ey. my stupid comp restricts me of palying wc3 properly since it ahngs all the time. and blardie wcg is in augest-october. i know i owuld get 8a1s le becaz of chinese. 7a1s is also bs. lfie is stupid. when u aim for stuff, u wont get it. when u aim for stuff u usually get sumthign unexpected. i haf so many clear cut examples. in NAG 2003 u15 i just played for expreince onli, no aims. i ended up 4th wif 5.5%. and miraclely i get to play in singapore vs malaysia and asean age grp. another example of when u dun aim u get gd stuff, it walways happen wif resutsl. when u tink u do badly, u didnt budden u would do well. for stuff which i aim and i 99.99% dun get it, take asean age grp for example. i wanted to win team medal. i didnt! i got 4.5/9 and missed on solfkoff to gedit. i wanted to get top 3 for individuals 2004 i got last prize 23rd. i wanted to tink of how it would be like to be the onli few in my sch to get distinction in chinse in october realse of resutls, i tot of it tot of the scnerio. it wont happen..

I feel lonely. I am becoming more and more loner. Daoing my friends. Making more enemies. I am becoming screwed messed. It's like i am given the option of several and yet i dun do those stuff tat would make myself more happy i guess. that is so stupid. i look at my fnrez links, they are so little.. horrible sight. i get disillusioned dat i haf little gd frenz.. i mean i can hardly name pple tat i share most of my thoughts wif. onli min ser and liz i share sum of my personal stuff with them. xh a bit lesser, i dunno why. for guys frenz, jason and justin is the pple i define as my closest outside sch frenz. maybe wei long too. budden they dun know much abt me as much as minz and liz. sch frenz, they absolutely dunno anything abt me. i would define darius sim, landon qing yuan as 1 of my closest sch frenz now. elgin ivan sean joshua keith would be the next. barry? see i cant even think who are my clsoe frenz and there would ber just a BIG cluster of just normal frenz talk talk chat chat after these 2. i tink even elgin ivan sean joshua keith might be just be in this big cluster. most of my classamtes are in this cluster.. which means i dun haf much gd frenz at all

I feel stupid. why not god just come down now and tell me tat if i do sumthign silly aka commit suicide aka zi sai i will be just be given another life(hopefully better, i mean it owudl be better how to get a more screwd up life den this). i would seriously consider that option man.

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 11:36 AM

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:::Friday, June 04, 2004:::

New additions

I just added a few more sections to my blog.

1. Games list. Comprises of Tower Of Hanoi and Reflex Action
. There will be a high score list for reflex action. Who can beat my time of 0.32? (I didnt have time to try more than once)

2.Download list. Started the list with the 2 files of Cartoon?
and Haunted Ghost
. Ok let me warn you people. Download the files at your own risk, it is not porn(yayaya) and not viruses so relax.. Budden open the files at your own pleasure. Changjie shall not be responsible for any damages related to both the computers and the personal involved.

School Holidays are here. HAvent blog since mondae.. (its fridae now..) hmmmm ok i tink my solitaire skills has been sucking recently. been losing too many games to xh.. and my war3 is so messed keeps jamming???!!!

Hmmm next tuesday night got bbq. shld i go? i dunno haizzz.. maybe flip coin decide.. quite a nice idea? East coast a bit the far sia.. i wonder how i gonan go home. Private jet?? gonna gif theresa answer whether i am going maybe let's see 3 days from now which is mondae.. haha... harry potter came out yesterdae, i tink i gonna watch next wed not sure though.. not confirmed yet? stupid lando,qy and st going tml to watch at aroudn 1... i dunno i shld go and watch twice? ok i considered i dun wanan waste money liaoz.

Somehow i feel damn crapped up, just screwed liz by telling her i dun wanan go hillsong wif her.. so she's hopefully not gonna stone dere wif myron weiwen keith matt and 2 scgs gals of myron.. sorri! lolz.. two sorris in 2 posts. cool eh? hopefully she will talk wif those pple.. dun lone k! nvm they are alreadi in the concert while i am typing jumping singing praying wadevaing.

Man i look at my frenz links.. kinda small.. i tink i damn loner sia.. tag board blardie gay and stationary.. just like an old man.. haizz tat's me zcj.. wad a loser eh? (no! i am a winner???).

just reached lv 17 in war3 todae.. 4-2-1 in tourney recrod for random 1v1 todae.. those 2 losses blardie comp jamemd :( haizz.. war3 gettin boring le.. gonna unisntall it after june to concentrate.. nth much to type le.. gonna end updating now!

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 6:46 PM

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