My life- A Roller Coaster

:::Friday, March 18, 2005:::

Let me start off this blog entry with a confession. Or a fact actually.

I am disappointed and sad.

Those who have like seen me at the class BBQ yesterday night, it was unlike my usualy self. That's what i think. Furthermore, yesterday night and today's morning was absolutely 101% unlike of myself. I acted differently. Sigh. Think it's due to several reasons. One of them is the chess tournament.

To start off. I had 4 points at the end of round 2. For non-chess readers, a win is 1 point, draw is 0.5 points and a loss is 0 points. There were 3 games on the last day(yesterday,thursday). ASEAN age group championship needed 5.5 points(a tournament which players from the south east asia region join in terms of age group) and mathetically 6 points assures a prize(top 15). 5.5 points might get me a prize as my tiebreaker(a formula used to rank people with the same score) was strong.

I had the mentality of getting around 6 points or more. I got a shock of my life when i lost my first game to Ben Lee. Well, he's a better player then me in terms of rating(figures used to represent one's chess strength) but then again i have been playing well against "better" players this tournament. I really regretted at one point of the game not sacing(sacrificing) 2 minors(bishop and knight) for a strong attack i think. Was really a hard knock. Also i was in time trobule(each player is given 1 hour to complete his side, i am a person known to use till the last few seconds).

That was round 7(third last round)

Round 8 saw me having 4 points still meaning i had to win twice to get the 6 points. I was paired against an "unrated" chess player from RJC. However, due to errors he actually had a rating of 19++(one thousand nine hundred plus plus) while mine is only 1731. I was quite furious at the pairing, because if his real rating was reflected i would not have played him i guess as computer pairings favours weaker half vs better half.(chimelogy) Further more he had 4.5 points while i had 4 points. (this means there was odd players of 4.5 points and i was the highest 4 pointer on tiebreak then). I went into the game very mentally stressed and since i am having the white pieces(white makes the first move thus i always feel is superior). I got into a completely winning position straight off the opening(starting of the game)

Ok if this is not winning. I do not know what is considered winning. I dunno why and how but somehow i slowly gave my advantage back and was losing at the end. Had to depend on a stalement(pieces cannot move) of bishop and a pawn for a draw in the end. I was playing for his time also as i had 20+ more minutes all along. He had <5>

I was really very like super doubtful after the game. Drawing a totally won position is really out of the question at this level of chess.

4.5 points after round 8. This means i have nothing to lose and even if i win my last round, i have to depend on my tiebreaker for a prize.

Round 9(final round) saw me pit against another person with 0.5 points more then me. It was my chess senior jonathan. Well he wanted me to purposely lose so that he can sure get a prize. I didnt want to. In fact, I also didnt want a draw as i had nothing to lose and that 4.5 points or 5 points makes no difference. He offered draws during the game even at some points i was losing positionally. But i rejected hoping for a blunder and a win. It did came towards the end and i won. It was a very a scary feeling afterwards. 5.5 points should qualify for ASEAN yet i was afraid of my prize thingy. Also jonathan was super pissed at me but come to think of it, i have all the right to not purposely lose but win. And that if he wants a top 10 prize(if he had won) he should all the more play better. If i had purposely lost, his prize would be meaningless i feel.

Anyway, to cut things short. I went for the prize presentation. The organisers do not publish the rankings so as to make sure those undecided people go for prize presentation. top 15 get prize. i got 16th.

just finished eating dinner. shall continue blogging(sighxz! this part of the entry got deleted gotta retype :( )

Liz mei mei gave me a card at the start of round 7,3rd day(thrusday)

and i gave an e-card to both liz mei mei and huimin(choir :P) on wednesday night! I wonder how did huimin do for her choir auditions. Liz didnt get the 3/3 she wanted for last day but hey 5.5/9 in total is still good! (merit prize lei!)

Liz's e-card
Huimin's e-card

and ya kaihui gave me something too at the class bbq! well she done so well at o levels that she's leaving ac :( for a well known cheena school :P hahaz lolz :P all ^E best.

and this is the diary the picture above is talking about *yucks!* lolz :P

Class BBQ:

at long last to blog about this. didnt know that chess stuff would take so long. Hey this is going to be a lengthy entry(due to pictures ^above^ lolz :P) i think around 15 people went in total at least. not sure though. Went there in acjc uniform and with a sad depressive look i guess(due to chess duh!). hey i juz realised i think jas is a super nice gal. she actually asked me like how i did and when i told her etc etc, she knew how to comfort people. feng mao ling jiao lei. rarity. Went to changed into partial home clothes after that.(i mean i brought the rip curl shirt and sum shorts/knee length home wear to change) hmmm the food was nice. me being a lazy pig *oink* decided to juz give eye power to those people cooking! hahaz den i just koped the bee hoon lotsa bananas! and chicken wings to eat. didnt consume much though prolly wasnt in the mood(need to know why??, if u dunno by now stop reading on u deserve to be slapped)

let's see aaron gabby leroy shawn sean huimin kaihui christina yiling sarah kelly lucas xin hui and me went. maybe i left out 1 or 2. sorry! 10 people stayed over in total if i remember correct(including the 2 owners duh!)

i feel bad and guilty sia. I didnt lifeten the mood up during the night(after the bbq) and the morning of the stay over. i was like dull face. i regretted i mean this might be one of the few times sb2 would get together. sorry! i mean the super hyper gabby and tofu didnt stay. and sumtimes it takes 2 hands to clap, or 3 in my case as i was :(. hey at least during the bbq i lifeten the spirit up by demoing pesi cola! hahaz. and mahjong noobness lolz.

and ya. kaihui received a diary from huimin and I. Somehow i feel like juz saying it's mainly from the former. i mean firstly, she bought it and i juz shared(havent even pay :( ). 2ndly, kaihui was like saying that if i write sumthing on it(i mean me and hm decided to write 1 page each) would spoil the book as my handwriting was .. ok though this sounds super mean to me and i felt a little *hurt* but it's true to an extend. i ended up writing 1-2 lines and draw a super big smiley. i'm predicting something. kh gonna rip up the first page and throw it away! sighz :( but nvm at least that's makes the book much nicer.

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 7:38 PM

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