Sad
I feel sad. Let me start off on a bright note though. 4 years in a row i got distinctions for australian mathematics. Hmmm, only 4 people got it this year from secondary 4. not sure for the other levels. It seems that the standard was raised much higher. i got a score of 116 and i think i juz made, plus i am the lowest of the 4 scores. I mean i know 2 people of 108 who got credit and people who got 92 getting participation. Last year i got high 90s already distinction. Feel very fortunate that this year and last year both were quite on the line of a distinction/credit, but with grace i got the former. Maybe it's because in secondary two i got distinction and 1 mark off high distinction... So i wasnt really b*tching about my low score this year.
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Sadness. That's what i felt later on in the day in school when i learnt of something. My english teacher pop-ed in during chemistry class and announced that the school giving away 300 bucks(cold hard CASH) to the individuals that topped a subject for the prelims. I was like. 'Ok. wtf?'
That day was frantic. It was my prelims physics paper. I didnt have the ability to control my urge to shit as my stomach betrayed me. During the MCQ paper, I had to rush to the toilet to shit. It took 8 minutes. It was an hour long paper. Going back into the hall, i rushed through the remaining questions.
not sure of the question no.. Question 29. did it and went to shit. WRONG Question 30. Wrong Question 31. Right Question 32. Wrong Question 3X. Wrong.
i got 35/40. i could do all those 4 questions i got incorrect easily. Two of them i worked out the correct answer, of which 1 i was rushing and shaded the answer with an extra zero behind it. (eg 10000 instead of 1000) and the other because i was totally immersed that i shaded the wrong answer when i worked the correct answer out. The other 2 questions should not get wrong too, rushing then see the diagram wrongly and putting wrong concept in place(when i shldnt under normal conditions)
Paper 2 came. i got 71/80. I was pissed because i lost 3 marks unnecessary. First was i didnt draw arrow on the graph(it was imprinted!), second was i copy my right answer from my working into the answer box wrong(i got the correct answer of 24 in my working, but i wrote 20 in the answer columm) and third was that i couldnt spell 'thermistor' so i used heat dependent resistor instead and was wrong.
I became 3rd in the level with 87.3%. second was 88%(prolly got rounded up) and first was 89%(he had 88.7%) of the 7 marks i threw away, if i just got 2 of them, i would prolly gotten that 300 bucks. I mean if i dun have the ability or skill or the 'smartness' to get top, I dont deserve the cash. But it was not the case. I clearly knew all the mcq plus the section B 3 marks off. I have the ability. I have the skill. This is a stupid senerio, something i feel i deserved is not going to me. And it's 300 bucks.
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Come to think about it. I believe that god has a purpose in doing this to me. (though i am not a christain, i believe that there is a god in this world and that he has a purpose for each of us. Plus i would always want to think from a christain point of view) I believe that there was a purpose and reason in denying me the 300 bucks. On reflection, when i received my marks back a few weeks ago, i didnt make a big fuss out of it. Ok, i did, but it wasnt this big a fuss. I dont know why money makes me feel so sad. Is it because it is money? Is it because i feel i deserved it? Is it because i feel i am deprived? of it? Money made me sad. why????
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MAJESTY [HERE I AM] Delirious?
Here I am humbled by your majesty Really hope all my friends get to know jesus!
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