My life- A Roller Coaster

:::Sunday, August 15, 2004:::

you haf onli urself to blame changjie. u didnt win anything todae becaz of u, stop blaming other pple. stop saying that u got cheated, stop saying its unfair. these are the thigns u shldnt care abt

-70% team score 14/20 cannot get prize, draw wif RI for 3rd but tiebreak got 4th. usually 66% can get prize liaoz in indiv
-Only 3 prizes from last year 5 prizes available
-Played okay 3.5/5 budden still nv win anything
-Joshua loh(i feel like saying every god damn vulglar words at him) for giving RI gab cheang a win a 1 move mate. its like arbitars also know purposely lose. and wad was it for? becaz his team agreed to a 1.5-2.5 lost to get 2nd and RI 3rd and not us. i mean WTH? gab cheang and tim wee of RI didnt wan to haf the scoreline, den tim wee losing 2nd board by exchange i tink kia hua offered(WTH) den of course he accept. last 2 boards also draw, justin winning too. DEN THE WORST thing is that joshua winning gab like a lot den purposely pretend nv see check mate, wth man? i mean if he nv agree 1.5-2.5 u go gif him for wad? could haf top 3 all ACS. god sake he is from sum nian hua primary wad shit ACsian
-Cow for losing to kia hua and getting 3/5 while me,myron got 3.5/5 and wl 4/5

I SHOULD BLAME MYSELF FOR
-losing to chan weng chee in a wining position though material even. i mean his king side screwed i got so much tempo etc. den lose. shld haf offered draw most prob he accept when i haf positional advantage. that1/2 pt would haf gotten third. STUPID ME
-not confident enuf to beat jason chan wif a huge lead of developement though i am 2 pawns down. both of us were around 5 mins. i got nice development his rook stuck 1 end cannot castle but 2 pawns up. unclear position. WHY DIDNT I TRY TO WIN? WHY? STUPID ME
-not pusher carleton faster and faster becaz he lost on time against both his opponents, i mean i prompted a flag drop for him in roudn 2 when he had like 5 s left and the opponent flag dropped. budden against acsi1 and acsi2 shld haf like keep reminding him to play faster, i onli did a little.
-no team cooridination, entered the tourney wif myron and cow hafing a tiff off and pissed at each other

this realli sux, i onli got myself to blame, no use blaming other stuff, other things. wad i am like damn emotional abt is that this is maybe the last time me cow myron and wl gonna play as a team. we wanted to end wif a win(prize) but we didnt and we feel pissed becaz most of us thought we were cheated. me cow and myron were patzers in sec1, we were trained up together we joined tourneys together last time to practice and became the players we are now. we are natured together and it realli sux that cow most likely going poly and i dunno myron can go acjc or nt. that feeling of lost team spirit is gone. wl onli coming in 1 year later. instead of going out wif a bang, we didnt make it. i remembered wl saying after roudn 5, 'this is likethe last time we playing as a team together and we got jacked by joshua loh'. i mean i damn emotional abt alot of stuf 1. maybe next yr try joining inter club as acsbr alumni.

first was my family stuff dat happened 2 weeks ago i tink, second was chinese c5, third is this. how long more must i suffer? i mean i remembered when my family stuff happened i was damn pissed, den i was like ok one more chance. den chiense. den i said ok one more chance. den this happens. at the rate thigns are going i am not gonna turn chirstianman, i mean i alreadi haf doubts from the beggining. this is like moving the path elsewhere. i know that i am not suppose to like get gd thigns all the times and maybe thru stuff must keep fate wadeva shit, the fact is i dun expect 3 thigns in a row to happen and still keeping? thinking.

ok i am gonna go up cry den slp liaoz. hopefully can cry. saddest dae in chess for me. other than ASEAN final dae when i missed on solfkoff to get team silver. i mean that 1 i know i dun deserve budden.... ok time to cry

0 comments posted by blurblock:) 12:07 AM

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-Ability may get you to the top but it's character that keeps you there- -I haven't failed, I have found 10,000 ways that don't work- -Winning isn't everything, neither is losing- -We live a life by what we get, we make a life by what we give- -What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us- if the world did'nt suck, we would all fall off?- -First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win- -To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world- -If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum- -Nothing is a problem- .:x:Abt Me:x:.

Name:-Zhang Changjie-
Bdae:-23/04/88-
Sch:-ACJC-
Cca: -chess(1731)-
Trademarks: -slacker,stoner,sucker-
Personal: -emotional person,hide his feelings,enclosed person,sensitive nature-

Official Opening: 30/03/04-

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MAJESTY [HERE I AM]

Delirious?

Here I am humbled by your majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I’m a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I’m your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Really hope all my friends get to know jesus!

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